It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.