It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.