It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).