It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.