It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!