It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.