It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.