It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.