It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.