It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.