It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.