It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.