It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.