Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Calm before the score
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Give me some pigskin
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
The huddle is real
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Having a ball
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Prepare to be bowled over.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
I feel tail great!
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
The goal nine yards