What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!