What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
All punts are highly intended
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Case in punt
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I feel tail great!
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
By the seat of one’s punt
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
I like big punts and I cannot lie
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Join us for plenty of play action.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!