Having a ball
Beauty is only pig skin deep
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
All punts are highly intended
The calm before the score
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
The huddle is real
Prepare to be bowled over.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Give me some pigskin
By the seat of one’s punt
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
We’re calling your number.
Case in punt
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
I like your tight end
Join us for plenty of play action.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.