Having a ball
The goal nine yards
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
We’re calling your number.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
We’ll have a ball.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
I like your tight end
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Join us for plenty of play action.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
By the seat of one’s punt
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
All punts are highly intended
Calm before the score
Prepare to be bowled over.
Case in punt
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
I made a snap decision to watch football today.