Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Join us for plenty of play action.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Case in punt
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
I made a snap decision to watch football today
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Prepare to be bowled over.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Calm before the score
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Give me some pigskin
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!