Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Having a ball
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
I like your tight end
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
The huddle is real
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Calm before the score
Give me some pigskin
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
I feel tail great!
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Prepare to be bowled over.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
All punts are highly intended
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
We’re calling your number.
The goal nine yards
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.