Having a ball
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
The huddle is real
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Prepare to be bowled over.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Football is one habit I will never kick
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
By the seat of one’s punt
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.