I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Football is one habit I will never kick
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
We’re calling your number.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Beauty is only pig skin deep
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Join us for plenty of play action.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
The goal nine yards
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Give me some pigskin
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
By the seat of one’s punt
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.