What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
By the seat of one’s punt
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
The huddle is real
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
I like your tight end
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Calm before the score
We’re calling your number.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Case in punt
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.