Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him
So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.