Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
When Chuck Norris moved out, his dad became the man of the house.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris' email address:
Gmail@chucknorris.com
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris can beat his reflection at rock paper scissors.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.