Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.