Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?
He's on a round house kick.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.