Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving
He gives the water the bends.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.