Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving
He gives the water the bends.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
When Chuck Norris smokes a joint
the weed gets high of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child.
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.