The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...