What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.