Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.