Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.