Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.