Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.