Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.