What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.