Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.