Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.