What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.