Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.