What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.