What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Hand of the buyer with a piece of cheese in the store
Why did the swan hiss? Biologically, it’s coded in their genes to do so when threatened.
What did the doctor say to the other doctor? We’re both doctors!
Who shaves at least 20 times a day? A barber.
A man walks into a library to get a book on suicide.
The librarian says “Do you have a library card?” The man says “no” and leaves.
What did the homeless man get for christmas?
Nothing.
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.
They all get a drink, because bars in America are legally required to serve people of all religions.
Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water. Expecting that one to end a little differently, too? If you’re unfamiliar, this is the (rather dark) way that joke usually ends. Plus, check out some more brainy and hilarious science jokes.