“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”