"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler