How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
How much will $20 get me?
Are you a human? Just making sure.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
You look like trash, may I take you out?
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
You smell. We should go take a shower together.
I would ask you if you're tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don't do any running.
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
How hot does your gas oven get?
I dreamt about you. You died.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you.
Just call me your baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
I like my partners, like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!
I'm willing to lower my standards if you're going on a date with me.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
You're so fine that I wouldn't care if you were dead or alive!