"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law." - Edgar Howe
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote