“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey