“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins