“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx