"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields