“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson