"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.