"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown