Yours Jokes

Hey baby, my body's like Ontario. Yours to discover.
With long legs like yours, you don't need high heels.
Whatโ€™s the difference between me and your socks? Iโ€™m not yours anymore.
When I go out to dinner,
I do not want to share.
I donโ€™t care what is on your plate;
I donโ€™t want to compare.

I scan the menu up and down
And then make my selection.
When it arrives, itโ€™s meant for me
And not for your inspection.

โ€œYou want to taste my fish?โ€ Iโ€™m asked.
Some people never learn;
For then the expectation is
To taste mine in return.

And so the answerโ€™s always No!
Yet comments never cease.
โ€œYour fries look really good!โ€ They are,
So let me eat in peace!

Each morsel on my dish is mine
And I intend to finish.
Perhaps my attitude will make
Your thoughts of me diminish.

Iโ€™m sorry if that is the case โ€“
Dessert Iโ€™ll split just fine;
But when the mealโ€™s delivered โ€“
You eat yours and Iโ€™ll eat mine!

(Ilene Bauer)
Like a bouquet tied with twine, I can be yours if you will be mine.
"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
So, is it my dugout or yours?
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
I forgot my reusable bag, can I borrow one of yours?
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran my boat into yours. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
Dear Mother in law...Don't teach me how to bring up my children...
I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
I was reading the book of numbers yesterday, and I realized I donโ€™t have yours.
Won't you wear my ring up around your neck
To tell the world I'm yours by heck!
I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy