Yours Jokes

I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran my boat into yours. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
Like a bouquet tied with twine, I can be yours if you will be mine.
Dear Mother in law...Don't teach me how to bring up my children...
I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
I forgot my reusable bag, can I borrow one of yours?
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
So, is it my dugout or yours?
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
I was reading the book of numbers yesterday, and I realized I don’t have yours.
Hey baby, my body's like Ontario. Yours to discover.
With long legs like yours, you don't need high heels.
Won't you wear my ring up around your neck
To tell the world I'm yours by heck!
When I go out to dinner,
I do not want to share.
I don’t care what is on your plate;
I don’t want to compare.

I scan the menu up and down
And then make my selection.
When it arrives, it’s meant for me
And not for your inspection.

“You want to taste my fish?” I’m asked.
Some people never learn;
For then the expectation is
To taste mine in return.

And so the answer’s always No!
Yet comments never cease.
“Your fries look really good!” They are,
So let me eat in peace!

Each morsel on my dish is mine
And I intend to finish.
Perhaps my attitude will make
Your thoughts of me diminish.

I’m sorry if that is the case –
Dessert I’ll split just fine;
But when the meal’s delivered –
You eat yours and I’ll eat mine!

(Ilene Bauer)
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