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Win

what do people win at fancy grammar competitions.
a posh trophy.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
Why did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut!
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
Nobody showed up to my 16th birthday party,
I congratulated him on his win against Polyphemus and we started the party.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
There was an exotic pet race to take place.

Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"

The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:

"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
Nobody showed up to my 16th birthday party,
I congratulated him on his win against Polyphemus and we started the party.
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
I own a big fat cat-
The fattest for miles around.
Wherever there's lots of food,
That's where he'll be found.

He's really good at eating.
It's a talent, I suppose.
I'm sure if he keeps at it
He'd win the talent shows.

I own a big fat cat-
He weighs at least a ton.
He couldn't run to save his life.
Yes, he isn't much fun.

His favourite room's the kitchen.
(I'm sure we all know why.)
He eats just about everything,
So that's why, with a sigh...

I'd like to tell you, Teacher,
I'd like to tell you straight,
I might have "accidentally" dropped
My homework in his plate.

(By Christian M. Mitewu)
There was an exotic pet race to take place.

Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"

The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:

"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."