Win Jokes

Whenever I see you my heart races. I hope to win first place.
Hey girl. I won this gold medal, but I'd really like to win your heart.
I bought a parrot but he has a foul mouth.
I let him loose so that he could fly South.
But he came home again.
This proves that I can't win.
He says the F word two hundred times a day.
He offends everybody and drives them away.
Nobody will take this bird even though I offer to pay them.
I'm going out of my mind, it looks like I'm stuck with him.
I have the only parrot on Earth that's a sinner.
If he doesn't shut up, he's going to be my dinner.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
If we raced, I would let you win, so I could get a good view from the back.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Hey, are you Oscar? Because I really want to win you...
"If I win, I get to take you home. If you win, you can come home with me."
- Trees Lounge (1996)
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
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