Whether Jokes

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
It doesn't matter whether you are tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor; at the end of the day...
It's night.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What are you doing hanging out in aisle 3? You clearly belong in aisle 9. Aisle 10 is within arm's reach but that all depends on whether or not you'll have dinner with me.
Do you like warm weather? Cause I'm gonna put my warm balls on your face whether you like it or not.
“I find that ducks’ opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether I have bread."
- Mitch Hedberg
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
My neighbours listen to terrific music... Whether they like it or not.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
"I don’t know whether they should say “You have a baby” or “The baby has you”." ~ Anonymous
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
There was an Old Man of the Wrekin
Whose shoes made a horrible creaking
But they said, 'Tell us whether,
Your shoes are of leather,
Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?'
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy