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Way

I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
Why did Dorothy get lost on her way to the Emerald City? Becuase she was being led by three boys
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys an extra case of beer. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man. Why did God give men penises? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
What's the best way to force a male to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
What is one way to save money when you go to the lake?
Buy a “sale boat.”
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Just found out that my old 3rd grade teacher is now doing time in prison for sexually assaulting a student.
I gotta say, he always rubbed me the wrong way.
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
Oscar Wilde
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.“
Mark Twain
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.”
Bill Murray
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
Dave Barry
“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”
Betty White
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
I only date blind people. It's the only way to make sure they're not seeing other lovers.
"I'm divorcing my wife. I've had enough, I'm going to leave her."
"Why?"
"She's out every night, going to the bars in town way past midnight and I'm fed up with it".
"What's she doing?"
"She's looking for me!"