Wanted Jokes

Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
That skeleton over there wanted to ask you for your number, but, unlike me, he didn’t have the guts
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself...
"You could be drinking whole [milk] if you wanted to."
- Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
You might not be America’s Most Wanted, but you’re at the top of my Watch List.
I’ve always wanted to be a farmer’s wife.
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
I really wish my five-year-old son would make up his mind! First, he said he wanted a treehouse in the backyard, but now, he says he doesn't need it…
Took me twenty years to grow that thing!
“You drink too much. Cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You’re everything I ever wanted in a friend.”
— Unknown
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
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