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Wanted Jokes

Nuts Puns
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Iโ€™ve always wanted to be a farmerโ€™s wife.
Utensils Puns
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
Funny Health Quotes
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
Tableware Puns
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
Friendship Quotes
โ€œYou drink too much. Cuss too much. You have questionable morals. Youโ€™re everything I ever wanted in a friend.โ€
โ€” Unknown
Food Quotes
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
โ€” Yogi Berra
4th of July Pick Up Lines
You might not be Americaโ€™s Most Wanted, but youโ€™re at the top of my Watch List.
Movie Pick Up Lines
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself...
"You could be drinking whole [milk] if you wanted to."
- Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Orange Puns
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
Ghoul Puns
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Yard Puns
I really wish my five-year-old son would make up his mind! First, he said he wanted a treehouse in the backyard, but now, he says he doesn't need itโ€ฆ
Took me twenty years to grow that thing!
Halloween Pick Up Lines
That skeleton over there wanted to ask you for your number, but, unlike me, he didnโ€™t have the guts
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