Waiting Jokes

What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
I was at a party last night, waiting my turn to get to the punch bowl.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in. I thought to myself, "At last...
a decent punchline"
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
A beaver asked his fellow beavers to hurry up and said, "Water you waiting for, make haste."
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Are you the World Cup? ‘Cause I get excited just waiting for you.
The Carpenter's Solution
The Carpenter's Solution A woman's closet door was making terrible sounds whenever a bus was crossing the street outside, so she called a carpenter to check it out. The carpenter comes to see what's the problem but sees nothing. Right then a bus is crossing the street and a loud creaking sound is heard coming from the closet. He can't believe it, so strange. "Hmmm..." says the carpenter to the wife. "How unusual. Perhaps if I sit inside before the next bus comes I can see what's making such a noise inside." The wife thinks it's a good idea, if sorry for his time. The carpenter goes inside the closet and gets comfortable, looking at the wood. A few minutes later the husband arrives home. While the wife is in the bathroom, he goes into the bedroom and opens the closet. To his shock, there's a man sitting inside! He throws a look to the bathroom, and then slowly turns his face to the carpenter with murder in his eyes. "what the heck are you doing in MY HOUSE, in MY CLOSET?" he growls ominously. "Ah, well..." the carpenter swallows nervously. "Would you believe me if I told you I'm waiting for the bus?"
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
Growth takes time. Be patient. And while you’re waiting, pull a weed.
— Emilie Barnes
My Little Chocolate Mess

Bathwater and bubbles are waiting,
but my child is nowhere near.
Yet, I can see from cookie crumbs,
he's crawled from here to there.

Oh, yes! he's been in the kitchen.
I see his crooked crumb trail,
which leads to our white kitten,
with a chocolate, sticky tail!

In every room I search
for my little chocolate mess.
Then, I find him in the my bedroom,
with his hands on my new dress!

(Darlene Gifford)
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
It's about Thyme.
The last four letters of 'queue' are not silent
They're just waiting their turn.
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