Van Jokes

What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
Get in the van.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
My favorite attractive force is Van der Waal's force. Can you feel it? I'll move closer if you can't.
Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he just didn't have an ear for music.
Why did the artist have to go to the bathroom right away? Because when you gotta Van Gogh, you gotta Van Gogh.
If Van Gogh were alive today, what might the title of his autobiography be called?
The STARRY of My Life
Which barnyard animal is a famous painter?
Vincent Van Goat
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
What did Van Gogh name the ear he didn't cut off?
Van Stay.
There’s been a murder, a woman was killed,
found in a bathtub, partially filled.
A pair of policemen went into the house
and questioned the poor woman’s spouse.
He’d just come home from working all night
and found her like that, a terrible sight.
The younger policeman looked on with dismay.
He’d never forget that terrible day.
He saw the young woman from behind the door
and empty milk cartons all over the floor,
Scattered strawberries, slices of fruit,
and spoonfuls of sugar and honey to boot.
”Who could have done this terrible thing?”
His voice had a horrified, pitiful ring.
”Just look at the clues,” replied Sargeant Miller.
”It looks like the work of a cereal killer.” (Albert Van Hoogmoed)
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.
When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
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