Vacuum Jokes

You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
I finally decided to sell my vacuum. It was just gathering dust.
How does the man help clean the house? Raising the feet, for the woman to pass the vacuum cleaner on the carpet.
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner.
This Isolation is Making Some People Crazy...
This Isolation is Making Some People Crazy... I've heard some people are really going crazy from isolation. I'm glad I'm not one of those. I’ve just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad. I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. The sink just said everything is going down the drain. In the end the iron calmed me down as she said everything will be fine, the situation isn’t that pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic. Told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and felt it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and it didn’t say anything, but the door knob told me to get a grip. The front door said I was unhinged and then.. The curtains told me to pull myself together!
"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower, or vacuum cleaner." – Ben Bergor
I bought my wife a matching belt and bag for Valentine's Day
She should have that vacuum up and running in no time.
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