Unless Jokes

Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
“Don’t wear perfume in the garden – unless you want to be pollinated by bees.”
— Anne Raver
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
"I don't bite, you know... unless it's called for."
- Audrey Hepburn, Charade (1963)
A man once told Brian, "You are so tall you can just touch the stars". He replied, "Be careful unless you don't want me to throw a shooting star at you"..
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz
"No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early"
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it’s a friend with chocolate.”
— Linda Grayson
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
I don't bite you know - unless it's called for.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
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