A man once told Brian, "You are so tall you can just touch the stars". He replied, "Be careful unless you don't want me to throw a shooting star at you"..

Funny Aging Quotes

"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke

Food Quotes

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles

Funny Animal Quotes

“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz

Funny Groucho Marx Quotes

"No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early"

Funny Money Quotes

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason

"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns

Friendship Quotes

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it’s a friend with chocolate.”
— Linda Grayson

Chuck Norris Jokes

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Dog-Themed Pick Up Lines

I don't bite you know - unless it's called for.

Crow Puns

A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.

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