Trouble

Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
According to my therapist, I have extreme trouble verbalizing my emotions.
Can’t say I’m surprised.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”
Les Dawson
“You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.”
Jim Carrey
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
There was an Old Person of Spain,
Who hated all trouble and pain;
So he sat on a chair,
With his feet in the air,
That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
A Punny Story...
A Punny Story... I was sitting in my office when a case came in. So I finished two bottles from it. Suddenly a tall blonde walked past my window. I knew she was tall because I was on the second floor. The phone rang and I knew something was wrong. I didn’t have a phone. It was a girl and she was in trouble. I knew she was, ’cause she said so. I raced down the stairs and called a cab. The cab stopped with a jerk. Then the jerk got out and I got in. We took the corner at a hundred miles per hour, but a cop stopped us and told us to put the corner back. Then we were out of the city. I knew it, because we were not hitting so many pedestrians. As we came to her house, she greeted me with a burning kiss. Then she took the cigarette out and kissed me again. She had the most beautiful blonde hair I have ever seen – hanging from her left nostril. She had teeth like the ten commandments – all broken. She also had the most beautiful eyes – so beautiful that the one eye could not stop looking at the other one. Suddenly a brick came flying through the window and hit her on the left breast – breaking three of my fingers!
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.