Surprised

A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
Chuck Palahniuk
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
According to my therapist, I have extreme trouble verbalizing my emotions.
Can’t say I’m surprised.
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.
'I'm 90 years old,' he says.
'90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?'
'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'
A talking horse walks into a bar one day.
He goes up to the manager and asks him, "Excuse me, good sir, are you hiring?"
The manager is surprised to see a talking horse and he looks him up and down before saying, "Sorry, we're not hiring. Why don't you try the circus?"
The horse says, "Why would the circus need a bartender?"
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.