Stuff Jokes

"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” - Wendy Liebman
“I used to believe my father about everything, but then I had children myself and now I see how much stuff you make up just to keep yourself from going crazy.”

- Brian Andreas.
“You dropped your kid off a changing table? Stuff just happens, okay? Last week, my kid ate a cigarette. I caught him playing in the dryer yesterday. I picked up the wrong baby from daycare. I found my baby swimming in the toilet. No judging.”

- 'What To Expect When You Are Expecting'.
There's only one cavity that I want to stuff, if you know what I mean.
I'd love to stuff your turkey, sweetheart.
If only I could grow green stuff in my garden like I can in my refrigerator.
You: It's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Because you could melt all this stuff.
Does your Dad own Snapple, because you're made of the best stuff on earth?
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
"You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen foods section—because you could melt all this stuff."
- Steve Martin, My Blue Heaven (1990)
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
They say this stuff makes clothes really soft. Want to come over and have a feel?
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” - Wendy Liebman
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.”—Wendy Liebman
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy