Stood

"It’s a boy!!! I cannot believe it – it’s a boy!! I was so overwhelmed, I literally stood there in tears"
~Mike, 32, abruptly ending his holiday in Thailand
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
It was my wife's birthday the other day
I took her to an orchard and we stood there for 20 minutes.

Apparently it wasn't the Apple watch she wanted.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Yo Momma so stupid she stood on a chair to raise her IQ.
I peed my pants every time I stood in front of my first-grade class to talk.
That's how I lost my teaching license.
'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
Yo momma so fat she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H D.
There was an Old Person of Cromer,
Who stood on one leg to read Homer;
When he found he grew stiff,
He jumped over the cliff,
Which concluded that Person of Cromer.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe? -- Quentin Crisp
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
When is a cow hairy on the inside and the outside at the same time?
When it's stood in the doorway of the barn.
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
It was my wife's birthday the other day
I took her to an orchard and we stood there for 20 minutes.

Apparently it wasn't the Apple watch she wanted.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.