Stood Jokes

What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe? -- Quentin Crisp
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
There was an Old Person of Cromer,
Who stood on one leg to read Homer;
When he found he grew stiff,
He jumped over the cliff,
Which concluded that Person of Cromer.
I peed my pants every time I stood in front of my first-grade class to talk.
That's how I lost my teaching license.
'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
It was my wife's birthday the other day
I took her to an orchard and we stood there for 20 minutes.

Apparently it wasn't the Apple watch she wanted.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
It was my wife's birthday the other day
I took her to an orchard and we stood there for 20 minutes.

Apparently it wasn't the Apple watch she wanted.
When is a cow hairy on the inside and the outside at the same time?
When it's stood in the doorway of the barn.
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