Stone Jokes

Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
Let Him Without Sin... Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let him who has no sin cast the first stone." The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman. Jesus sighs and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom."
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
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