Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street. Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry. Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
A man meets a fairy. "I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy. "I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man. He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full. "And youre second wish?" the fairy asks. "Another one of those."
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."