Soon Jokes

As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
โ€œThe waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
A man was about to propose to his fiancรฉ but as soon as he got down on his knees, she started laughing.
It was a fun knee moment.
As soon as you find someone who has bees, marry them.
Thatโ€™s how you know they're a keeper!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."

- John Steinbeck.
โ€œA lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.โ€ โ€” Zig Ziglar
"As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife."
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competitionโ€ฆ
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream
And must paddle to keep afloat;
But one soon tired and sank to rest
With a gurgling sigh in his throat.
The other paddled away all night,
And not a croak did he utter,
And with the coming of morning light
He rode on an island of butter.
The flies came thick to his island home
And made him a breakfast snappy.
The milkmaid shrieked and upset the pail,
And froggy hopped away happy.
We can all find a moral in this rhyme,
And should hasten at once to apply:
Success will come in the most difficult time
If we paddle and never say die!
โ€œI thought Iโ€™d never be that annoying person, but as soon as Winnie was born, I was showing iPhone snaps to a cab driver.โ€

- Jimmy Fallon.
โ€œEveryone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world, but they are also terrorists. Youโ€™ll realize this as soon as theyโ€™re born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.โ€

- Ray Romano.
Two white bears got married, but soon ended up unhappy and got divorced.
Itโ€™s as if they were polar opposites.
"I hear voices, too. Voices that say, 'If you don't kiss her soon, you're a chump.'"
- Jimmy Stewart, You Can't Take It with You (1938)
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