Soon Jokes

“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
Is your name Winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
A man was about to propose to his fiancé but as soon as he got down on his knees, she started laughing.
It was a fun knee moment.
As soon as you find someone who has bees, marry them.
That’s how you know they're a keeper!
“I thought I’d never be that annoying person, but as soon as Winnie was born, I was showing iPhone snaps to a cab driver.”

- Jimmy Fallon.
“Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world, but they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they’re born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.”

- Ray Romano.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
"As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife."
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."

- John Steinbeck.
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream
And must paddle to keep afloat;
But one soon tired and sank to rest
With a gurgling sigh in his throat.
The other paddled away all night,
And not a croak did he utter,
And with the coming of morning light
He rode on an island of butter.
The flies came thick to his island home
And made him a breakfast snappy.
The milkmaid shrieked and upset the pail,
And froggy hopped away happy.
We can all find a moral in this rhyme,
And should hasten at once to apply:
Success will come in the most difficult time
If we paddle and never say die!
Two white bears got married, but soon ended up unhappy and got divorced.
It’s as if they were polar opposites.
"I hear voices, too. Voices that say, 'If you don't kiss her soon, you're a chump.'"
- Jimmy Stewart, You Can't Take It with You (1938)
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