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Somewhere Jokes

Garden Puns
Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
Spain Puns
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.

So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
A dog and his bone was on the roam,
Where can I find this bone a home?
Will I bury it next to the tree?
No, too easy for others to see.

What about next to the garden shed?
Maybe in the middle of the garden bed,
Behind the sty where the pigs all are,
What about somewhere right away far.

I think I know what I will do,
I'll just sit down and have a chew,
Tomorrow will be another new day,
I'll find a spot then for the bone to stay.

(John Williams)
Funny Break Up Lines
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Quotes
“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
Groucho Marx
Unicorn Puns
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
One Liners and Short Jokes
When I got home last night my wife demanded that I 'take her somewhere expensive'...
So I took her to a petrol station.
Food Quotes
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
Ogre Puns
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
Blonde Jokes
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
Jokes For Women
My husband said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before."
So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
Corona Virus Jokes
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Rainbow Puns
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
Arm Puns
I lost my wrist watch somewhere near my house.
Now it’s the neighborhood watch.
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
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