Sold Jokes

When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
Yo Mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money.
A Closeted Conundrum A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work... Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$150" Man - "Fine, fine, just be quiet." A few weeks later the husband arrives early again. The lover, now practiced, dives into the closet just in time. He breathes heavily, then hears a sudden rustle behind him. "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove." The lover sighs. "How much?" Boy - "$350" Man - "Highway robbery. Sold." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The boy says, "$500" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth with the Priest to confess his sins and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest sighs, "Please don't you start that again."
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Jim ordered a racehorse online
A thoroughbred sold in it's prime.
Now just for a laugh
They sent a giraffe
But it wins by a neck every time.

(Ray Gridley)
A couple is in marriage counseling and the wife tells the therapist that the husband never buys her flowers.
The husband says...
"I didn’t even know she sold flowers!"
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
"I'm so conflicted when my husband does the laundry. On one hand, he did the laundry. On the other, my clothes can now be sold at Gap Kids." - Molly McNearney
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
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