While fishing in the blue lagoon, I caught a lovely silver fish, And he spoke to me, "My boy," quoth he, "Please set me free and I'll grant your wish; A kingdom of wisdom? A palace of gold? Or all the fancies your mind can hold?" And I said, "O.K." and I set him free, But he laughed at me as he swam away, And left me whispering my wish Into a silent sea.
Today I caught that fish again (That lovely silver prince of fishes), And once again he offered me, If I would only set him free, Any one of a number of wishes, If I would throw him back to the fishes.
My mom is a metalurgist I asked her the other day: "Which metal do you prefer to work with? Gold or silver?"
She said: "Either ore."
The Wise Old Sculptor
Many years ago, a smart old sculptor was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union and emigrate to the United States where his son lived. When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin.
Customs: "What is that?"
Old man: "What is that? What is that?! Do not say ‟What is that?” say ‟Who is that?” That is Lenin! The genius who thought up this worker’s paradise!"
The official smiled and let the old man through.
The old man arrived at JFK airport, where an American customs official found the bust of Lenin.
Customs: "What is that?"
Old man:" What is that? What is that?! Do not say ‟What is that?” say ‟Who is that?” That is Lenin! The bastard! I’ll put him on display in my toilet for all the years he prevented an old man from having a good life."
The official smiled and let him through.
When he arrived at his family’s house in Brooklyn, his grandson saw him unpack the bust.
Grandson: "Who is that, grandpa?"
Old man: "Who is that? Who is that?! Don’t say ‟Who is that?” say ‟What is that?” That, my child, is eight pounds of gold!"
A woman turns to her husband on their silver wedding anniversary and says, ‘Darling, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?’ Her husband replies, ‘Why not? I stuck with you through the other six shades.’
The New Technology
A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father visited the city for the very first time. They wandered around, marveling at the different sights. Eventually, they got to a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but they were especially amazed at two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady passed between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son:
"Junior, go get your Mother."